You have broken my heart.
Just as well. Now
I am learning to rise
Above all that, learning
The thin life, waking up
Simply to praise
Everything in this world that is
Strong and beautiful
Always-the trees, the rocks,
The fields, the news
From heaven, the laughter
That comes back
All the same. Just as well. Time
To read books, rake the lawn
In peace, sweep the floor, scour
The faces of the pans,
Anything .And I have been so
Diligent it is almost
Over, I am growing myself
As strong as rock, as a tree
Which, if I put my arms around it, does not
Lean away. It is a
Wonderful life. Comfortable.
I read the papers. Maybe
I will go on a cruise, maybe I will
Cross the entire ocean, more than once.
Whatever you think, I have scarcely
Thought of you. Whatever you imagine,
It never really happened. Only a few
Evenings of nonsense. Whatever you believe-
Dear one, dear one-
Do not believe this letter.
I wonder how many people each of us would like a letter like this to. I am thinking of one or two. How, after our parting I did not know how to deal with the pain and my heart that had broken open. So I turned without and as my heart mended it healed a little bit larger to take in the beauty of the world around me, and in me. I was determined that love would not destroy me, but grow me. If I could but just let those of past now how well I’ve done without them – my parrot companions, my father, my Mayan. What I would also tell them that still in the night, they come to me in dreams, and in the morning the heart sighs and I must rewrite that letter and the story of my life.
To whom would you send such a letter?