The Poet Dreams of the Classroom

I dreamed

I stood up in class

and I said aloud:

Teacher,

why is algebra important?

Sit down, he said.....

Then I dreamed

I stood up once more and said:

Teacher, my heart is falling asleep

and it wants to wake up.

It needs to be outside.

Sit down, he said.

When in elementary school I was not much of a student.  I laughed as much as I could, ignored the teacher, and when at home, played the game to be the first one out of school clothes and outside, and the last one to come in after the sun fell. For my efforts, I technically did not pass fourth grade.  There ensued a major teacher-parent conference and I was read the riot act, "Shape up now or you won't ever amount to anything."

Well I shaped up, did well in school, and sat down through many years of college and degrees.

Today will be a day full of inside work to help those beings "outside."  I make myself sit down here at the computer.  There is great risk that my heart won't quicken today and will become sleepy and dull, for I need to be outside.

What about a compromise then?  I can be outside myself, and rise above ego concerns as just now the sun is rising over the tree tops in my back yard.

So my plan for the day if I get sleepy is this:

Sit down, let go, get up, let go.  Repeat as necessary.

How do you keep your heart awake?

Percy Wakes Me

Percy wakes me and I am not ready...

Now he's eager for action:  a walk, then breakfast....

He is sitting on the kitchen counter where he is not supposed to be.

How wonderful you are, I say. How clever, if you needed me, to wake me.

He thought he would hear a lecture and deeply  his eyes begin to shine.

He tumbles onto the couch for more compliments.

He squirms and squeals; he has done something that he needed and now he hears that it's okay.

I scratch his ears, I turn him over and touch him everywhere.  He is

wild with the okayness of it.  Then we walk, then he gas has breakfast, and he is happy.

This is a poem about Percy.

This is a poem about more than Percy.

Think about it.

In my spiritual practice of nonviolent communication I often struggle with accepting with ease the complaints of others.  When I first hear what they want, often expressed as a demand, or worse, as whining, I don't have much empathy for others or for myself.  It's also hard for me to get in touch with my gratitude that they let me know what was going on for them, for I know that when someone asks something of me, often in a an unskillful way, they are just letting me know what would make their life wonderful.  This is such a great gift, but so frequently I am reluctant to open the gift to appreciate how life flows through them.  Instead I have "shoulds" going on in my story telling brain, "Why can't they think of anyone else but themselves?" 

Reading this poem today, I sense a break through, a vision.  People around me are like bounding Percies, inviting me to make their life wonderful.  How lovely for them, and for me, if I could reply in word, thought, and action so that they could know how wonderful they are and the okayness of their needs.

Oh how our lives might shine. Though we may not be ready, may we awake to this possibility today.

To whom would you like to communicate "okayness?"

LITTLE DOGS RHAPSODY IN THE NIGHT (PERCY THREE)

He puts his cheek against mine
and makes small, expressive sounds.
And when I'm awake, or awake enough

he turns upside down, his four paws
in the air
and his eyes dark and fervent.

Tell me you love me, he says.

Tell me again.

Could there be a sweeter arrangement?
Over and over
he gets to ask it.
I get to tell.

I've often heard it said that all human communication can be boiled down to three words. In Mary's case it is "I love you." Another set of 3 words are "Please" and "Thank you." Over and over every day we get the chance to ask others to serve us and to hear how we have served others. We might say it differently each time, and often without much skill. Perhaps our "please" comes out as a demand or regret - "you don't love me anymore!" or "why are you so lazy - pick up your socks." In either case we are asking for something - to be appreciated and to be cared for. The tricky part is for us the listener to translate the crankiness, the whining, the anger, and the irritation into a phrase that reflects a request on behalf of the speaker. That's called empathy. Easy to offer when a beautiful dog makes eye contact with us in the night, but it is much more complicated when looking into a scowling face. Those unhappy moments with others are a great chance for us grow our spirits and our hearts, for each time we can say to ourselves, "They are asking me to please love them, and I am so grateful that I may find a way to do so." Everything we hear then is "Please love me," and may everything I do, think , and say be "I do."

What is your favorite phrase? Or that speaks of a theme in your life?

Dogfish - March 16, 2010

Some kind of relaxed and beautiful thing

kept flickering in with the tide

...I wanted the past to go away

...I wanted

to hurry into the work of my life, I wanted to know

whoever I was, I was

alive

for a little while

...Also I wanted

to be able to love

...Mostly I want to be kind.

...And nobody gets out of it, having to

swim through the fires to stay in

this world.

And look! look! look! I think those little fish

better wake up and dash themselves away

from the hopeless future that is

bulging toward them.

And probably,

if they don't waste time

looking for an easier world,

they can do it.

I awoke this morning and watched a movie about Buddhism in southeast Asia. The theme running through my watching was awaken, awaken! The fire of the sun is rising, this day, this moment, this breath. We are the little fish stalked by the bigger fish, and we can but awaken and bring hope to the future. In the meantime we do as Mary reports here - we smile, work, survive and try to be kind, all pointing to the wakefulness of this given day.

Do you waste time looking for an easier world? What would an easier world look like?