...they slid like sponges,
like too many thumbs.
I knew this, and what I wanted
was to draw my hands back
from the water-what I wanted
was to be willing
to be afraid...
What good does it do
to lie all day in the sun
loving what is easy?
It never grew easy,
but at last I grew peaceful:
...I lay on the rocks, reaching
into the darkness, learning
little by little to love
our only world.
I weep with the truth of these words - of how I pray that in my life I may grow peaceful so that I may reach into the darkness, learning to love our only world. I am bound for Honduras where we will need to hire soldiers to protect us while in the Mosquito area. I do not think it is a high risk area, but even if it were, what good would it be to love what is easy? There is so much darkness in these areas of poverty and violence around the world, and I desire to reach into the hard rocks of people's lives so that my heart might break open and the world fall in. In the peace of wild things and the reality of human existence, may I come ever more able to love this world, and act with joy and justice accordingly.
Where is your love hard?
I know there is probably more dark to come. My darkest hours were when I left my husband. When the doors closed on our plane out of Chicago I met my first goal. He could not kill us. I got off the plane in Fort Lauderdale with three children, two suitcases, and a promise from my mother's condo association to allow us to stay two weeks. I was reaching into the dark, not knowing what those two weeks would bring.
ReplyDeleteThey were successful. By week three I had a full time job, my own apartment, and the girls in school and my son in day care. I servived the weeks and years ahead in and out of court and have now reached my peaceful years. So much so, that I have to challenge myself doing such things as La Chua Trail with good friends to feel the thrill of successfulness. I am sure dark times may come again, but past success teaches me that I can surely get to the peace.