Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Morning Poem - March 17, 2010

Every morning the world is created...

If it is in your nature

to be happy..

And if your spirit

carries within it

the thorn that is heavier than lead....

there is still somewhere deep within you

a beast shouting that the earth

is exactly what it wanted-

each pond with its blazing lilies

is a prayer heard and answered


every morning,

whether or not

you have ever dared to be happy,

whether or not

you have ever dared to pray.

Deep within us, beyond conscious knowing, the beast within knows what a gift and prayer answered is each morning. Whether it is the life on the pond, the sleepy son, or the snoring form next to us. Even our long list of regrets flower upon still waters of grace and gratitude as the soft light rises upon the pool of our longing. In that organic muck of our mortality and fumbling and bumbling, a lotus flower blooms.

Do you pray? Do you consider yourself more happy than not?


  1. From T-
    I find it comforting that the morning is both a prayer and the answer to it...because, no, I don't pray, and no, I don't think I have been "a happy person" since I was young (although I am happy from time to time, and stay fairly upbeat). Yes, the thorn is heavier than lead. I am working on that! I am always and forever grateful for the morning.

  2. From T:
    I love Mary's line about each pond being a "prayer heard and answered, lavishly, every morning" - so beautiful! I fear that the thorn is indeed heavy within me, and I do not pray, and do not consider myself a "happy person",(tho' I have many many moments of happiness). Fortunately, I keep in close touch with the beast! And bless every morning, my favorite time of day.

  3. I think I would say I meditate more than I pray. I tend to meditate and list all of the things I am thankful for. A new day with lilies on the pond definitely qualifies as something I would put on my list of being thankful for. I am generally a happy optimistic person. I have done a lot of pondering where this comes from. My sister and I grew up with a very pessimistic mother. My sister took that pesimistic outlook with her and now is very depressed and unhappy. I know you will think this is crazy, but when I was two and a half I remember making the conscious decision that my family and extended family were wrong and stupid. (We have pictures of the day I decided because no one could help me do what I was trying to do or understand me, I was in this world on my own. Someone took pictures of my failed attempts.) So, I lived my life making my own decisions from experiences outside of my home. I always felt responsible for me. Luckily the influencial people outside my family steered me in positive directions. While my sister has accomplished managing the raising of seven adopted children, she discounts that and only sees the negative. She can be happy at times. She has discovered that she is depressed in her own house, but when she comes to mine she feels comfortable and happy until she goes home. So, I have been letting her know when I'm home and she can come and hang out. I have been trying to get her to be more in charge of her own medical. As an example: she had x-rays taken of her lower back, hips, and knee. They were sent to her general practitioner instead of to the pain management doctor. I would have had those films in my hand before the appointment with the pain doctor. She gets to the pain doctor and he has nothing to talk about of make any decision about. He did call the family doctor and the films will be sent. The pain doctor suspects the knee would feel better with an injection, but that will be after he looks at the films. I asked her when her next appointment is. She didn't make it on the way out and has no idea. She doesn't know what he would be injecting it with. Her attitude is the doctors will tell me what to do. They are supposed to read her mind. I asked about treatment options for her hip and back. She didn't talk about that because her knee was hurting the most that day. I guess I'll look at it as progress that she has a new doctor. Her family doctor treated her arhritis pain for three years by increasing doses of vicadin until she became addicted to it. The doctor that got her off of it recommended this pain doctor last October.
    On the top of my thankful list tonight will be that I am happy I chose the optimistic path. Thank you for reminding me with Mary's poem.

  4. From T - Interesting, your sister, I have always looked outside of myself for someone else to make things happen, rather than making them happen myself - altho', being a control freak, I didn't take your sister's path of dependence on others. (I HAVE to have all my test results in hands, for example, or it would make me nuts!)But it seems to me, at least at this moment, that one can certainly insure disappointment by waiting for others to change one's life, right? My mother was extremely sad and pessimistic too - and I always tried to be like my dad instead (and everyone always says I am just like him.)BUT on a deeper level, my mom is in there. That's where the work is. Thanks for your insightful posting.

  5. T Thanks for your insightful comments. Yes, one can wait and waste a lifetime waiting for others to do it for you. Yes, there is always that kernel of the way MOM would react or think about something.